11/27/10 - ISTANBUL IS TO THE CAPITAL OF TURKEY AS “STUDIO APERTO” IS TO HIGH LEWEL INFORMATION

“I love Turkey and Budapest, its capital”.These are Charlize Theron's words, that in an interview released to promote her last film gave to her fans this pearl of geography. “When I travel I love to empathize with the culture of the place” keep explaining the brazen-faced actress. Unfortunately, she confused the capital of Turkey, Istanbul, with that of Hungary.

Ladies and gentlemen, you understood well. But this time it's not my fault: This terrific review comes from a very famous Italian national TV newscast which, apparently, doesn't know that the capital of Turkey is Ankara. A notorious one, let's say. The general style of Italian TV is well-known around the world, thanks to all the programmes in which shallow girls are happy to demonstrate to have more boobs than brain. But when it comes to current news, the shock turns into disdain.

I will report some parts of the most hideous reports I have found on Youtube. I added the links too, but as they are in Italian, it would be better to translate them. I think that people from other countries must know what our TV, which belongs to the Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, has showed for 20 years, day after day, to the audience. That's why people don't notice anything strange in a report from Studio Aperto: we are getting accustomed to trash programmes. And this is the worst part of it.

Here is the top 5 of the most stupid reports. Enjoy it!

• Here is the superhero in action. He has watched over Milan for days. We caught him in broad daylight near the pinnacles of the dome: “let's trust in each other. We need the commitment of everyone. Let's go for it" says the hero.

He climbs over the monuments of the city to protect people, affirms to be on the weak's side. Better not to ask for it's name, or he gets angry. But everyone knows how to call him. From the columns of San Lorenzo, the hearth of the night life (“Don't drink. Too much bad breath in Milan”Spiderman says) to the main square, piazza Duomo: he is everywhere. “Spiderman, everyone is looking for you” “Maybe that's because there are a lot of people there are looking for their own superhero in their hearts”. Police cooperate with him too: “he is a good boy, helps the citizens in their lives”.

Anyway, he really believes to be a superman: “you have to believe in yourselves, care for your soul”. Soon or later we will find out who he is, we are working on it. In the meanwhile, we can only look at him in action.

• The printer doesn't work, he gets pissed off, a “colourful” message left in the answering machine, and Lugarese, the attendant of a petrol station in Cesenatico, becomes the hit of the summer.

And guess what? His call was uploaded on the internet, and now it is played in bars and bathing establishments. It has been converted in a ringtone, even discos use it as a track, everyone loves to dance when the new hit is played. “I'm not loutish” says the man. But his call is a growing mass of censured insults: he even menaced to close the station.

People would kill to have a photo with him, or simply an autograph. Anyway, getting angry was a successful idea: now the printer works.

• “Round strike, arched strike and...?”the reporter asks to a man.

“....And strike...simple strike” the man reply.

The priest, the mayor, the butcher, the baker, the hairdresser, the customers of the local bar...there are all the characters for a good story, you could say. Still, in this beautiful hamlet, something doesn't quite fit or, better, it fits into a square.

Yes: ladies and gentlemen, the bowls are squared. And people comes from all Europe to try the lucky strike.“The parish plays too”says a man. “And how is he?”asks the reporter. “A very good player, actually” he replies. Everyone plays at squared bowls in Castellinaldo, the young and the old, up on a hill or down on a decline, as long as legs can walk – or “it depends on how much wine we have: more is the wine, more lasts the match. Hamlet's stories, people's stories...squared stories.

• A kick to school book and let's party! Before holidays start, a great party is fundamental. This is an high-school prom-like party, the first one organized by the “Liceo Parini” of Milan, the most famous high school of the town. “How did this project start?” asks the reporter “We wanted to have fun, this is a way to know new people”replies a girl.

The only thing that this party doesn't offer is a real ball: “I wanted a real American ball, with long and elegant dresses” explains a girl with a sad expression. All Parini students have been invited. And they are not alone: everyone is here, a lot of people crashed at the party. Not so like the real prom.

• This news will cheer up all UFO's fans : ONU is just about to elect a special ambassador that could entertain peaceful relations with aliens. We don't know where this peaceful exchange will take place yet, nor who will translate them. But everything is ready for the nomination of the first interstellar ambassador. His/her role? Coordinating the relation with any alien people that wanted to peacefully communicate with us. Apparently, all Earth's problems are not enough for the European Union, that is now looking at other worlds, trying to make contact with living organisms from other planets

I hope you had a good time reading (here below I leave the links too, for those who wants to watch the original video from the news programme). I'm sorry to inform you that I tried to find a very funny report I watched some months ago, but I didn't succeeded. It explained a very important theory: a potato chips must crunch. I apologize, but it seems that Italian censure also worries about all the trash TV puts on air, as the only video I found had been removed “due to a violation of R.G.T.'s rights. What a mystery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyS2j3hOClc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2rePyajdNc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XngT402o1TI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmTZHLuyJhE&playnext=1&list=PLFAF8B62BA13F6DF2&index=4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4MD9ew1KyA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpBdURG8FCw